Thursday, April 02, 2009

hello, this shall be my final and last update on this blog... as i am closing it.

i've been reading the past entries on this blog, and obviously all the entries have had something to do with my ex, sherwin. yes read it again, that's my EX.

i have finally moved on with my life... managed escape from the rut of a relationship i was in.
in other words, i have dumped sherwin.

i have since found better things in my life, and have realised what i've been missing out, and how bright my world can really be. i am happy.

this entry is a closure to this sad journal and chapter of my life. as such i shall describe what happened at the end (for the sake of recording i guess, and making a proper 'the end' to this blog thingy).

it's ironic that this blog is titled the dumping ground. shall get to that later but the reason why i named it as such was bcz this was e place i meant to dump all my emotions and thoughts... and oddly enough, alot of the entries was exactly that...a dumping - of negative thoughts and emotions. dumping them in writing. the irony in this title is that it's been shouting at me what i should have done the whole time - dumped the main character of this blog 'the boy' (or should i say the ex now). ha ha. yea i should have done that a long time ago. re-reading my entries made me realise that over and over again.

so! i dumped sherwin khoo. and i am proud of that. after all the things i went through and tried. i have no regrets, and in fact, i am proud. i am proud that i was the one who did away the poison in my life. i managed to not only get myself out of the vicious cycle of daily heavy-heartedness and daily sighs and weekly tears, i turned things around and got back at him. how? i dumped him. HAH. and i am even more proud of myself that i stood my ground and felt emotionless as he tried desperately to get me back. wait. i think i was amused.

i think it's obvious that even after more than half a year after this whole thing blew over, i still have some gripes about the past. there were some things in that relationship, the ones that i never blogged about, that i can never forgive him for. over time, i hope to look back at those ugly memories undeterred, but i noe that even then, i would look back and know that there was a person so thoughtless, so opportunistic, so fucking selfish as to have no qualms to try to make use of a then naive girl to achieve his personal ends, and failing which - was so much of a coward that he glossed over the ugly moment, right after, with the lamest of excuses. there once existed in my life a person that was so shameless to repeat it, more than once. i think i've yet to forgive myself for even letting those moments happen.

anyways, enough of looking back. everything in that part of my life is over now. i have more than recovered... i am brand new.

but i can't help wrapping up this blog with something vindictive. i like grand exits anyway.

so... to 'the boy' in this journal and from this chapter of my life:

KAN NI NA BUEY CHAO CHEE BYE, MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Posted by s t a t i c at 4:16 AM