Friday, September 14, 2007

things i need to do when i get home:

*call him and...
1. tell him tt i'm nt angry anymore
2. ask if he still likes me : if it's ANYTHING ELSE BUT a yes, then he can say 'dunno'
3. if he does, tell him we need to talk, n i'd rather do it face to face

i still love him. it's not half as much as when we first started out, but i think the feeling is still there. i still want him around at least. it mite be bcz i've been too used to that...him being arnd since the start of my jc days n being one of the very first close guy frens i've had (pri sch not counted heh). i've never truly learnt how it's like without knowing that he somehow cares, even if a little bit. i dunno...mebbe i will learn if i have to. but the point is that, there is still some feeling left, but it's fading slowly. i need to tell him that. if he wants this relationship, he's got to help it grow stronger. n i'm not threatening or anything...this is real. if u dun help it grow stronger, the feeling will die out soon.

before tt, i've got to tell him to pls be more sensitive. like if he can't meet me, say sorry or something. tell me something nice or sweet to console me. dun make me feel like i've just been rejected n left to wait for another half a month to force him to come see me. tt way, at least i'll noe tt he does want to meet me, just that at the point of time he just can't.

actually it's time he treated me better too. he says he needs time for his frens too. but i think he meets his church frens more than he meets me as it is.

this time, i can't say that i want this relationship. neither can i say that i don't want it. but if things keep going as it is now, i just feel that i deserve to be treated better. even if it means giving up the relationship. i've said it countless of times - i'm tired. tired of trying to keep this relationship going from day to day, week to week. tired of teaching u n telling u wad to do in hope that u will treat me well...like how other guys treat their girlfriends. hoping that despite all the things that have happened, i actually really am your everything. as how u once were my everything.

Posted by s t a t i c at 12:29 PM