Thursday, September 06, 2007

ironic how i fell empty n sullen when there's many things happening n pretty much more to be happy about. but then again, it's a pretty common thing rite? thanks to the boyfriend, i have a headache now, there's that heavy feeling in my chest, i feel feverish n having stomach discomfort bcz i am... sad. they say tt u go through thick n thin with ur companion/bf/partner (what have you). but doesn't a companion have to be supportive too? n WILLING. for goodness' sake. not someone u have to complain to before he does something for u. i feel tired of doing everything. asking, teaching him wad to do, how to treat me, ask to settle a prob/talk things out when i'm nt happy. can he jz do things for once without me having to sound out first n mebbe prove to me tt this relationship is not one-sided? tt i'm not e only one hu wants this relationship to work. he says he wants it to work, n part of me believes tt he does. but there's the day to day (or in this case, week to week) things u gotta do to keep it going. it's like i'm e only one hu's interested in this. wtf la. to think tt he was e one hu asked me back. part of me has already given up, but part of me wants to give him a chance. it's obvious enough tt e latter part was e one tt made me get back with him. but there's still tt part which has given up, n everytime he cancels out on me n stuff like tt, i'm no longer as disappointed as i used to be. i jz feel numb. bcz i've tried so many times anyway n it hasn't worked. yea, i feel angry obviously. but there's tt part of me which expected this to happen anyway.

and then sometimes i wonder if all this will really clear up after 5months. i dun feel like thinking about the 'maybe's after tt. not rite now. i'm just too tired.

Posted by s t a t i c at 8:57 PM