Friday, July 06, 2007

am i being unfeeling if i say tt i am tired of all this baggage? tt i cannot wait to move on? i think so myself.

i thought abt it further n mebbe i jz wanna see him again. before, it used to be enough for me to see him for awhile...have a gd conversation. basically to jz have his company. i noe i'm being saved the impact of this bcz he says he still does care n tt really, nothing's changed. only tt circumstances dun permit us to be together. the fact tt wad's happened means tt no matter how much he cares, he doesn't want to be with me anymore is still hard for me to swallow. leaves me confused n jaded. let me repeat tt to make it clearer to myself : AZIMAH, HE DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE.

*deep breath*

sherwin doesn't want me anymore. i dunno wad he wants now, but clearly it's not me. why should you care for someone's company when he doesn't even want you around? why should i care? mebbe deep down, i am just wishing tt time turned back n everything returned to what it was. let's pretend to forget n to be friends n laugh like we used to so it wud be as if the past didn't happen.

sigh. wad a lie. tt will never change how things have become. i shud just have to accept the facts. he doesn't want me around. shud do him a favour n disappear. of course i treasure him in my life as i've always had. but pls azimah, have some decency for urself. if he doesn't give a shit abt u anymore, why shud u? it will just be one-sided, desperate n make things seem as if i have noone else to turn to. which is really doing a great injustice to my friends bcz their all arnd me now n supporting me. i seriously dunno wad i'd do without them. pls be grateful azimah n appreciate all tt ur friends r doing now to help u recover n dun turn back n hurt urself again after all tt they've helped you with.

whatever he does, it's his life. his choices, his actions. he knows what he's doing so why do u even feel concerned? he's not a damn kid for goodness' sake, he obviously knows what he wants. n obviously he knows tt he doesn't want u. forget the pretty phrases. his actions jz threw the facts right smack into ur face. open ur eyes pls, n see it? so have some pride, azimah, n turn ur back.




hell yea. okaY then, i know where i'm not wanted. it's totally his loss.

Posted by s t a t i c at 11:43 AM